Loud Silences

“Turn the volume down” my mother always shouted.

“How could music possibly hurt?” I thought.

Now I’m shouting in my head,

Asking you to turn the volume down.

The darkness is hurting my eyes.

The silence is blasting in my ears.

I find ways to silence your silences.

But that one look into your eyes-

You take away so much,

leaving me with words you will never say.

I can’t let you take anymore of me-

my smiles, my tears and my words.

I will soon be out of them,

for I’ve been spending them all on you.

And move away before I steal your words to write my story.

Don’t blame me for reading the pages you thought were blank.

I know you never tell me anything.

But teach your eyes not to talk.

They say more than you ever will.

Falling

I’m choosing not to be loved.

I know we can be together.

I know the path that would lead us there.

And yet I choose not to move.

I know I can get all that I want.

But I also know I deserve better.

I love you. Maybe I always will. Maybe I will not.

I want you to love me.

Not the idea that I love you.

I know I’m crazy.

But be it so.

All I know is

I cannot give up what was inside me before I met you

for whatever that is inside me now.

That part has been there for longer, you see.

You cannot claim its place.

Call it ego, stupidity or a void that refuses to be filled.

I know I’m hurting myself.

I know I think too much.

But this is just me.

Maybe I don’t know how to enjoy life.

Or maybe I don’t know how to do it the way this world tells me to.

I cannot mesmerize you with my dance or my hair or my body or a song.

I may write poems about you.

But for myself.

I may have fallen in love

But I will never, ever fall.

Not for you.

Not for anyone.

BFFL

I know I’m free to go.

And go I will.

Knowing that you will always be there,

To catch me when I fall.

Metaphorically at least!

I know I’m free to go.

Because our relation is special.

We never bind each other.

The way they do in so-called love.

I know I’m free to go.

And so are you.

Because we want to conquer the world.

Metaphorically yaar!

I know I’m free to go.

But never say I left because I was ashamed of us.

That is the worst thing I can hear.

Yesterday. Today. Tomorrow.

BFFL has Forever and Life in it, Best Friend!

I know I’m free to go.

And I think we both did go.

Our ways-

Maybe not converging,

But not diverging either.

How do I explain this to you?

How do I tell you how proud I am?

Of you. Of us. And this relation of ours.

You say I write well.

I say I can’t write the most important things I want to say.

Words are my friends, but they’re traitors too.

Do you trust my words?

I think you do.

Do you trust me?

I know you do.

.

Knowing that you will always be there,

To catch me when I fall.

Metaphorically at least!

I know I’m free to go.

Because our relation is special.

We never bind each other.

The way they do in so-called love.

I know I’m free to go.

And so are you.

Because we want to conquer the world.

Metaphorically yaar!

I know I’m free to go.

But never say I left because I was ashamed of us.

That is the worst thing I can hear.

Yesterday. Today. Tomorrow.

BFFL has ‘Forever’ and ‘Life’ in it ‘Best Friend’!

I know I’m free to go.

And I think we both did go.

Our ways-

Maybe not converging,

But not diverging either.

How do I explain this to you?

How do I tell you how proud I am?

Of you. Of us. And this relation of ours.

You say I write well.

I say I can’t write the most important things I want to say.

Words are my friends, but they’re traitors too.

Do you trust my words?

I think you do.

Do you trust me?

I know you do.

Eve and Adam


Eve didn’t need Adam,

She was complete in her creation.

It was Adam who was imperfect

in his singularity.


Eve didn’t need Adam.

She didn’t even know he existed.

Once she did, she fell for him.

It was meant to be that way, wasn’t it?


Days were fine. She was busy-

Classes, assignments, papers,

There was no time to think of anything else.

Or at least,

That’s what she told herself.

Nothing has changed.

It’s just a phase.

It will pass, if it hasn’t already.

Or at least,

That’s what she told herself.

One song, one smile, one look-

That is all it took

For everything to rush back to her.

But she pushed it away-

Eve didn’t need Adam, remember?

She was complete in her creation.

Or at least,

That’s what she told herself.